If you’ve just failed in approaching your crush, don’t worry. Here’s why:
Even after over 1500 approaches I still resist approaching sometimes. I feel validated knowing that even the most experienced pickup guys out there weasel sometimes.
I sometimes game with the guy who literally got 20 lays in a single month last year (and he still cleans up a lot). And yet, it amazes me that he is actually far more scared of approaching than I am.
Lesson learned: Getting more lays will not fix all your problems.
Moreover, I think it is important to re-frame a lot of the bullshit stories you tell yourselves and to also, be comfortable with the fact that a lot of your approaches may not result in a lay.
I leave you with two situations that I saved for myself that I always look back on any time I realize I’m falling into self-pity or bitterness
1. Elon Musk’s truthful admission that he expected to fail but, he tried anyway. If anything, it’s a testament that he took his ego out of the picture i.e whether he failed or succeeded, he was not going to attach his self-worth to the outcome
2. James Marshall, that middle-aged man who is still banging a lot of hot girls is not any more immune to being blown out than you are. So, don’t think that there is a point when one becomes a daygame “God” and just bangs every chick he opens… THAT SHIT DOESN’T HAPPEN.
Besides some advice above, here are something I want you to remember:
1. Failure is like that awkward dance move at a party – you gotta do it to get better. Think about it, if you want to lift 10 KG in the gym, but you’re stuck at 5 KG, you gotta embrace the failure. It’s like trying to impress your crush with your dance moves but stumbling – you learn from the failure, right?
You grab those 10 KG weights and give it a shot. Maybe you only manage 5 reps (fail), and with time, you’re at 8 reps (another fail). Then, whoops, you drop down to 6 reps (fail again). But then, you sort out your diet and voila, you’re pumping out 10 reps like a champ (success).
It’s the same in the business world. Scared of rejection? Well, if you don’t pitch your idea, you won’t fail, but you won’t succeed either. Take Bill Gates, for example. He pitched his idea to 1,200 people, and only 85 said yes, but 11 of them turned him into a multi-millionaire. See, to succeed, you gotta fail. It’s like broccoli – you might not like it, but it’s good for you. And ego? Yeah, it can be a tricky little rascal. Learn to wrangle it!
2. When you’re doing something, don’t worry about what the peanut gallery thinks of you. Instead, imagine you’re watching yourself from the third-person perspective. What would you think if you saw this person (who happens to be you) in action?
For instance, you spot a stunner on the street, and your brain’s like, “Nah, too many people, awkward, she looks like she means business.” Stop right there and ask yourself, “What would I think if I saw some other dude confidently go through the crowd and talk to her?” You’d probably think, “Wow, that guy’s got some serious mojo!”
So, now you know what to do. Go ahead and approach that chica. It’s like giving yourself a high-five from the future.